I didn’t do everything on my bucket list.. I didn’t see everyone I wanted to say goodbye to.
I’m not very sentimental (or, at least I’m only sentimental in secret). But tonight I was at Nick’s for an end of summer celebration of the event I put on during my summer internship and my friend Renee mentioned that it was my last night at Nick’s and asked if I was sad. I immediately started tearing up. We went to kilroys to get one last tank top and I teared up that the Indiana flag was emblazoned on the football helmet of the shirt.
I’m not ready to go. I’m not ready to leave my sister, who I didn’t have the chance to spend time with until she finally moved back to Indiana three years ago. I’m not ready to leave the best coworkers I’ve ever had, many of whom have already left Bloomington. I’m not ready to leave the brand new group of friends I met in Costa Rica, the best trip/decision of my life. I’m not ready to leave the memories I had with people who have already gone.
I rarely go out. I hate most of the college bars. But I am going to miss everything here. Everything that made me who I am, the people who have made a difference in my life in only a few meetings, the amazing jobs I’ve had and the classes I’ve taken.
Going to IU was the best decision I ever made. It made me appreciate my home state so much more to come down here. It gave me time with good friends from high school but I still had the good sense to make new friends who are irreplaceable.
I think everything I do is going to feel a little unfinished. There is always more I could have done in a job or with my opportunities I was given. I will always want more time with the people I’ve met.
IU and Bloomington have given me a great four years. I’m glad I’m not here for a fifth year of school, but that doesn’t mean I’m not sad to leave. I feel a bit like I’ve been kicked out. School has started, new hires have come in to my old job, new ideas are coming into my not even yet – finished internship for next year. It’s an odd transition.
I am extremely nervous to move to Nebraska. To leave everything that I know and love, to survive totally on my own, without old friends to fall back on or even a roommate to spend time with. I’m excited but I’ve never done anything like this. I built a life for myself here, but I had others to lean on. Starting next week, I will only have myself. I know that’s not completely true and there will be people who help me immensely through this transition, but I can’t help but feel sad.
The last four years have been amazing, and as much as I can’t imagine myself in undergrad anymore, I’m still incredibly sad that I’m growing up.
Cheers to you, Bloomington. Bring on the next chapter, world.