Titles Hold Me Back

Titles Hold Me Back

I used to feel like I was a pretty good writer, and now I can never get started. Maybe I’m trying too hard. I want to blog more but I’ve been holding myself back.

Let’s dive in.

I started training for my first full marathon two weeks ago. So far it’s not going so great. The first week I didn’t do my long run and skipped one of my short ones, too. Last week I got my long run in and it felt great, but I didn’t do my short run yesterday and I’m currently avoiding the gym and risking skipping my run today, too. This is not good at all. I just hate driving in the snow and am not crazy about running on the treadmill. Unfortunately, with the roads how they are and the sidewalks completely impassable, running outside is really not an option, even if I wanted to brave the cold.

I’ve been doing pretty well on my other goals for the year. I inherited a sewing machine over the holidays and it just came back from the shop. I’ve been working on wedding decorations and just patched a pair of rain pants, so that hobby is going well. I got some music from my mom and had a short piano lesson with her, and have been practicing on my own with the little keyboard Lauren has here. I have cooked three real meals and feel like that habit is getting back on track again.

My reading and journaling is not going well. My books have been overdue at the library twice now and I haven’t made any progress. When I am home with plenty of time to do things, I want to go to bed at 8:30 and then hang out on instagram/netflix until 11. First of all, I should never be ready for bed before 10. Second of all, that computer time is supposed to be reading time and I’m very disappointed with myself.

I was recently promoted to full time, so I have one week left at Bdubs and will have a lot more time to devote to being good at my job, training really thoroughly for a marathon, planning the wedding, cultivating hobbies, and keeping up with myself and my friends. I currently feel like I’m sort of bad at my job, which is discouraging and unmotivating. As I get more confidant I think I’ll also feel more productive.

I FINALLY got my new lens (borrowed from my dad) out and took some photos of birds at the feeder at work, and they turned out really well! I need to take my camera out to some of our preserves and explore them and this rediscovered hobby. I was photo editor of the yearbook in high school and have really missed it. I also need to become more familiar with the properties my land trust manages and get to know Northwest Indiana better. All of this will help me improve at work. I really don’t want to disappoint them!

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